Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
