Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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