Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
