that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
