I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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