Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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