We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
