If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
