Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
