never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
