u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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