you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She just used a chaser for red wine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
