remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
