he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
