I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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