I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
