the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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