i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
false alarm. still invincible.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
