Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
