Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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