chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You were trust falling into bushes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
