I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
