Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
operation harelip BJ is a go
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
