hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
