You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
