My first STD was from a foam party
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
