apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
