Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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