I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
