I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
