walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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