ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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