remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
