The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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