Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
