Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
