I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
