THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
