You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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