we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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