Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
