Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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