im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She just used a chaser for red wine.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
