do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
