she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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