highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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