You're my little dorito
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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