If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
