i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
