Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
