What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
