I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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