i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
