You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
